So as most of you know, a year or so ago I was OBSESSED with Fanfiction. It was my life. I loved it so, so much, and I think it plays a huge part in one of the most important stages of my childhood. But the thing is, I didn't read just any type of Fanfiction. No. It was always the Sister's Grimm. Sure, I occasionally ventured out into the worlds of PJO, HP and the Hunger Games, but none of them touched me as much as that one fandom. But I guess I lost it along the way. It's like when you're friends with someone for a year, but then they move away and you slowly lose touch. Wattpad also stole a piece of my heart, and obsession began again.
A few days ago, I decided to revisit my old fandom.
And I realized that I've outgrown it.
I feel... empty. I know what most of you are thinking.
"Why's she making such a big deal about this?"
"What's wrong with her?"
"What the heck is up with her obsession with the cookie monster?"
And to be honest, I can't really answer those questions.
This series, these characters, were my childhood.
MY CHILDHOOD.
And now they're just... gone.
I don't really think I've outgrown the books, I don't really find that possible, but the fandom? It's lost to me.
I can no longer read about Puck and Sabrina's relationship without criticizing grammar or commenting on the OOCness.
I can no longer read about Daphne and her antics without noticing the utter lack of a plotline and the exaggeration of her character.
I can no longer read about Granny Relda and her cooking without feeling that the recipes are completely ridiculous, and have just become nonsensical.
And it just feels like a part of me is missing.
I mean, I spent at least a year and a half with these people, these stories.
I read. I critiqued. I reviewed. I personal messaged. I drew. I even wrote my own fanfic.
I don't know why I feel so disconnected. I think I've outgrown the series, but at the same time I haven't.
I guess it isn't just about the fandom. So many things are changing. Everything's a mess, and those little things I expect to stay constant, those tiny details that are almost forgotten just... disappear.
I feel so lost, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.
I think I'll go cry in a corner now.
